Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
