I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize