my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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