So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
