24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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