anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
