I'm so fucking centered right now
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
