I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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