It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
