dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
