return my video game
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
