so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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