She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
