don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize