I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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