So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
