how hairy? two words: wookie tits
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
