Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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