I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
