The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
