They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
