from now on my penis is your penis
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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