I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The air was thick with penises
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
