Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
