I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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