I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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