She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
