tell your sister to shave her snatch
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
