but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
