and you said cock pushups were impossible
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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