tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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