Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize