She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
