Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
