like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
do nipples grow back?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
