Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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