so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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