hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
