MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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