He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
