there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
