I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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