have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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