Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
