I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
