try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
