Yo dont text me then not text me
one two three fourrrrnication!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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