speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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