My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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