sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
