She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
