Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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