My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
