Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
