i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize